Business Walrus

Business Walrus

37,000 years ago, the Business Walrus crawled out of Lake Michigan and into human society with one goal in mind: to become the wealthiest, most powerful investor the world has ever known.

Many centuries later, he has achieved this goal and then some, having established himself as the driving force behind some of the most revolutionary products of all time, from the locomotive train to ground beef to those cute little ties that cowboys wear. He has also been behind some disastrous innovations, such as a chair that bites you and the Vietnam War, but that’s neither here nor there. What matters is that the Business Walrus has billions and billions of dollars ready to invest in YOUR ideas—you just have to woo him first.